New Shoes

been weeks I haven’t play futsal, feeling so fancy. can’t wait to try  a pair of Puma shoes I was just bought last week, a white color, with blue puma carved at the outer side, spent IDR 360K to have it. not really bad at all when I was tried to use it on Basket field on my company’s sport outing. but, can’t have any point to assess until I try to use it to kick the ball.

What’s wrong with you ?

you redig the fear that has been buried down deep inside of me. the soul that black covered by the hatred. it now walk beside my shadow. it now show the fang, scratch every love that may come.
I see the inferno lively opens its door, and kiss of the flare reached to your skin will burn you down. there's no touch of love will bring this betrayed soul to come back alive. black and darkness glowing out from the eyes of sorrow. do you think it will back to purity, white and soft ?

Girl, I don't know what is wrong with you. your decision to change, are like hurting me somehow. Can We Just have a time ? to talk, walk, to have conversation while drink a tea or something ? would you mind to say "Hi" to me ? that I really missed it and realize that you haven't say it for long time ago. Ask me something. show me you have even a little bit Care to me ? WHAT IS ME in your eyes ?? seems you never see me even I'm in right beside you.

you kill that's spirit of love, then you resurrect the souk of hatred.

Grateful

Things happen in my life, and I Thanks to God for :

1. Give me great2, supporting and charming family. they are the most valuable thing in my life that can not be exchange with anything. My Moms, who always wake early to cook me a breakfast before I go to office. My Dads, who really support and believe in me. My sister, with her kindness, My Younger Brother, The Inspiration. and My youngest bro, The Lazy Brilliant *can’t believe you can make a murder case >.<* . anyway,  I really proud each of you
2. Met me with great friends. in which I can share everything, make my life more fun and easier to run each day.
3. Bring This Job, even with it’s a lot of trouble and problems, I see that as challenge to be faced. That’s why I’m so exited everyday, I believe it will improving me better and better.
4. give me a Rumble Partner, Noisy and charming Client. even though Sometimes they complained a lot , yelling, and get so upset. Again, my day will never be this Noisy if they are not around. your question make me think to find the solution, filled my mind with the answers more and more.
5. give a chance to see The Smile that people give to me along the way work, and along the way home.
6. The Love, that somewhere else out there.
7. Healthiness, prosper and many more you give to me

Hanya ingin cerita

Gw1 : lo tahu gimana rasanya jatuh cinta sama seseorang ? setiap hari yang lo pikirin adalah dia, setiap hari yang lo sebut namanya dia, sebelum tidur yang lo bayangin dia ?

Gw 2 : yeah gw tau banget. itu namanya kepala loe udah terkontaminasi virus yang dinamakan virus cinta.

Gw1 : Bener banget bro, seringkali terasa sakit, membuat gw kadang ingin sekali menangis. kau tahu kenapa ? gw begitu memujanya, dia adalah seseorang yang tidak tergantikan, dengan keindahan yang tidak sempurna yang membuat gw justru tersentuh. tetapi sayang dia tidak pernah membalas perasaan ini dengan perasaan yang sama. terlebih sekarang2 ini. Dulu kami berteman baik, meski tak sampai menjalin hubungan spesial, tetapi kami cukup dekat, saling bercerita dan saling memberi semangat, tapi kini ? semua berubah. Perhatiannya tak lagi diberikan buat gw. gw tahu sekarang gw bukanlah siapa-siapa, gw memang sudah berusaha keras untuk tidak memikirkannya, tetapii.. entah kenapa, hari2 sepi yang gw jalani justru membuat gw semakin teringat padanya. kau mau tahu seberapa dalam perasaan gw padanya ? it ocean wide… wider… and wider

Gw2 : Perasaan kayak gini sebenernya gak bagus buat loe teruatama kalau berlebihan. apapun yang berlebihan itu ga bagus. gw pernah denger pepatah cina, “cinta itu harus seperti seduhan teh, jangan terlalu tawar agar bisa dinikmati, dan jangan terlalu pekat karena akan terasa pahit dan tidak bisa diminum”. Jangankan untuk cinta yang tidak terbalas, cinta yang saling membalas pun tidak baik. Gw hanya berharap lo bisa mencintai seseorang yang lo suka itu sewajarnya. berikan perhatian dan sayang juga sewajarnya, kelak suatu saat takdir akan menjawab doa-doa loe. entah pakah lo akan berjodoh dengannya atau siapa tahu akan berjodoh dengan orang yang lebih baik lagi. Tuhan maha tahu.

Gw1 : …..

Gw2 : Sudah temanku, masih banyak wanita diluar sana, coba lo buka mata hati loe. perhatikan sekeliling bahwa cinta ada disekitarmu. coba lah berikan dan terima. dicintai dan mencintai adalah hak dan juga kewajiban.

Gw1 : …

Like a Dog

I’m like a dog chasing a car, I don’t even know what to do when I reach the car.

yeahhh ^^

Am I Stupid ?

this question was came across when I heard my friend said. “I was stupid, to be hurt like that”. Geez, my friend for 2 year had been chase for a girl which kind of like to confusing him. day by day he pass with the hope of someday he may become her girlfriend. and once, he made a relationship, but to another different girl instead of the one he chased in last 2 years, what happen was in several months they broke up. and I asked him “which more hurt you ?”. and that is the answer.

may be I haven’t passed that phase of love story. I still couldn’t find which one I love that love me too. currently I love a girl which already has a boyfriend, that’s why i cannot reach closer beside we also have different. loving her and being hurt more like a Stupid… that's what I’m afraid I will call my self now as “stupid” someday in a future.

Moving

Moving, they ask me to move, in a 3rd floor, and it mean It will open the loose some of my oportunity to see her everyday,

deep down inside, I want to see you every day… EVERYDAYYY..

this is good or not ? I’ll figure it out soon.

Face

oh God, I love to see your face. I more love to see your face when you sleep. so cute. How can I imagine, that right before I sleep in the night, and right when I wake up in the morning, I see that face, every day.. what a wonderful day…

^^

Big Question

is the rule and part you have in this earth was been decided by God in the first time ? what will I become ? Geez, I’m a dreamer, I have so many things in mind. I really want to reach it. am I able to do it ? what kind of fate I really have ?

Almost The Time

I’ve just got my mind made up. I need to take a leave, and then goes for the truly leaving ^^. I believe the world’s kind of Big, and have a lot of people better that will lead me to their place. I just can’t get stuck at one thing. I’m young and thirsty of the new things. no chance mean go away. I feel sorry about this. although there always thing should be my consideration. where am I going ? when I leave, what will I do about the burden I must carry with now ?

I found that something I called enough in my place now. but not enough for my soul to find a mountain to climb, the ocean to sail or the desert to explore. so many thing I must catch up. the cage where I live now, trapping me, pushing and limiting, I can’t go further.

I may say, I’m kind of the one who find things my own way. I’m not good enough with people, like the lone start haven’t shining yet, unnoticed. but I try hard to release my self. this mind trap, evil delusions. There always be hope and there always be fear, for the sake of people who trust in me, for the sake of the life I have. for my own self satisfaction. I will strive for it.

The burden I have on my back, carrying people who rely on me, while I’m not doing my best yet. I disappoint them, and I try to act like there’s nothing to worry. We have everything right now but my starving soul. I can have my selfishness above their needs. the live-worthy things to fight and die for.

This only seems the proper time. the doors open little by little, and I really think it is the almost time. the sky limit, my wings almost grown perfectly. just wait for one more stride. I will fly freely, for what I believe for.

people may say they loose their believe on me, but I can’t loose my own believe. Like a sailor that must reach the land what he looking for. like a digger digging the cave in dark with no light, with only believe he carry that he’ll find the gold.

my way,my fate, at end,  is my my own. it almost the time

Thank you

I would like to thanks to someone. you are such a good friend, such a good partner. I can’t imagine what my day will become without you here. You really make my day worthy to run, and I always have reason why I should go to office to work, why I should go earlier so I can meet you earlier too, and why I try this hard so I can finish my work so people can say we doing a good job.

sometimes, what I think it good at first time, it become the otherwise at end. of course I want be like this for ever this project lifetime. but that’s no matter, at least this is the feeling what I fill right now.

Thank you